“Our next available operator will be with you shortly. Your wait time is less than four minutes.”

I love the automated messages that tell me how long I have to wait. I don’t even mind if they say I have to wait ten minutes. At least I know.
No one likes to wait without a prescribed time limit. Yet, again and again, we find ourselves learning the same lesson from a new facet.

Writing is made up of waiting sessions

As a writer, I should be well-practiced at waiting. Just one book features dozens of waiting sessions:

• Waiting for the plot to set up like Jell-o, no longer sloshing over the sides but sitting firmly in its place.
• Waiting for your word count to accumulate past 500 words, 5,000 words, 50,000 words.
• Waiting to reread your work, knowing it is both far better and far worse than you remember.
• Waiting for the perfect revelation to spackle that plot hole or properly motive your flim-flam antagonist.
• Waiting for your beta readers to let you know what they thought.
• Waiting to gulp down the bitter syrup of truth and apply the plentiful changes your partners suggested.
• Waiting to hear from the agent—hoping for the best but resolved to gain useful knowledge either way.
• Waiting to find out if this book is the “one” or if you need to start back at square one.

Waiting is a symptom of life

But some waits are harder than others. Some waits cement you to the minute, refusing let time tick by in its proper clippity-clop manner. It screeches and drags like an anchor scrapping across gravel. These waits seem longer, harder, crueler.

• Waiting to see your baby’s fingers and toes in real life and hear that blessed scream, indicating that everything will be okay.
  Waiting to hear that your loved one has finally left this world, shrugging off the worldly pain like a wool coat.
  Waiting to hear if you got the job out of state.
  Waiting to see if your house sells or if you should investigate bankruptcy paperwork instead.
  Waiting to hear if the biopsy is clear.

There is a lesson in each wait. And it is seldom the same lesson each time. I like to delude myself into thinking that if I puzzle out the lesson fast enough, the wait will end—the cheesy treat at the end of the maze.  But the wait can’t be shortcut, condensed, boiled down or quartered. It takes up the space it was allotted and we either move around it, carrying on with the rest of our non-waiting lives or we sit down and stare at the wait.

Either way we wait…
And wait…
And wait…

What are you waiting on?

When I attended the Midwest Writer’s Workshop in July of 2011 at Ball State, I hit the jackpot. I already brought my fabulous local critique partner, Jeanne Estridge, with me. We made networking one of our top goals, along with our agent pitches and full roster of classes. Within a few hours of the first day, we had assembled a nice size group of quirky friends to go out for drinks.

(Twitter was instrumental in finding other tech-savvy writers in a crowded conference. Check out #mww11 for our witty running commentary of the conference.)

As we proceeded through the weekend, we added a few other oddball friends and a few fell away. In the end, we pushed two tables together for the ending banquet and immediately created a private Facebook group of about 12 of us called the Cool Kids Table.

A free-writing exercise Jeanne wrote spurred the name and we all agreed we felt lucky to have found so many simpatico writers in a mass of strangers. Our personalities and writing styles were varied, as were our locations. One writes steam punk, another surreal short stories. One won a poetry contest while most of us got manuscript requests.

Since leaving the conference, we have all logged onto our Facebook group, for critique swaps, writing advice and pep talks. We console each other when the agent passes on the manuscript and light a fire under the butt of the stragglers. But mainly, we keep writing.

I look forward to sitting at the Cool Kid’s Table as long as they’ll have me. And if you ever attend the Midwest Writer’s Workshop, you should see us there. We’ll be the ones getting rowdy and practicing our autographs.

I’m a big fan of private groups on Facebook and belong to quite a few. Do you use Facebook groups for anything interesting?

Current Book

Stuff that Christians Like by Jon Acuff (again) for BookLinks

My own book, Dismantling Spider Webs, on my Nook, before I hand it over to the BookLink girls

Left Neglected by Lisa Genova (I loved Still Alice!)

Current Album

Sigh No More, Mumford & Sons

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure

The Stumble button. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Current Drink

Pink Grapefruit Sparkling Ice

Current Songs

“Dog Days are Over”, Florence and the Machine
“Hannah”, Freelance Whales

Current Wish-List

Confidence that I am supposed to be writing and that my work is not drivel.

Current Needs

Sun therapy

A decision

Current Triumph

I finished Zone Trippers on Monday and I am handing out Dismantling Spider Webs at the end of this month. Sharing my work is a big hurdle for me! So is typing “The End.”

Current Favorite Film

I saw Water for Elephants in the theater opening weekend. Gorgeous! I am still trying to see Inception and The Social Network. I am so behind the times.

Current TV Show

Big Bang Theory, which I always love. Better With You is one of my new favorites.

Current Celebrity Crush

Nathan Fillion, who needs to play the lead in my current book, so my friend Laurel can meet and marry him. (Isn’t thist-shirt awesome?)

Current Indulgence

Copious amounts of Jelly Belly jelly beans, especially pomegranate and honey ones.

Current Outfit

Gardening pants, t-shirt and cardigan sweater. I can’t wait for sundress days!

Current Banes of My Existence

Osteoarthritis and a torn rotator cuff. Oh joy!

Current Excitement

The sun is currently shining! First time in weeks and the only day for the foreseeable future.

Current Mood

Still firmly mired in winter depression, so I am going outside to play!

Current Picture

Family portraits and new head shots are being taken next week by my awesome friend, Dawn Alicea. The awesome part about having friends who are photographers is that my kids are always their models. And almost all of my friends are photographers!

So what are you currently into?

Harry Potter Birthday Party

1. I was finishing large scale revisions to my work in progress, Zone Trippers
2. I had to buy a new car which required research, spreadsheets and boat loads of money
3. I had to put on an elaborate Harry Potter birthday party for my son, and
4. My knuckles were swollen 3x their normal size

But I jumped in with both feet and didn’t miss a day!

What I Learned

• The key to success for me is public motivation. I never would have blogged 26 times in a month if I hadn’t publicly promised.
• I am capable of writing 500-600 words of copy a day ready for immediate consumption.
• I don’t have that much to say.
• My most popular blog posts were: Must Reads, Editing, Sexy, Cry and Doubt.
• I didn’t get to visit every one of the 1,200+ blogs that participated. But I did add several new blogs to my RSS feed.
• Finding something to say in the Comments section is harder than I thought. I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t comment.
• I will never give up my RSS feed. Mostly I followed the #atozchallenge hashtag on Twitter but I would conservatively guess that only 1/10th of the bloggers used Twitter regularly.
• Once again, I wish people understood that readability is important. Use headers, subheads, bullet points, etc. Large blocks of text are hard to read.
• My Mom read every day and often called me to see what the blog post was going to be about.

Takeaway

Gimmicks are my thing. NaNoWriMo, A to Z Blogging Challenge, the 3 Day Novel…. these things surround me with cheerleaders and accountability, which guarantees I will succeed.

I learned a lot and found some new friends. I still have a hard time seeing the automatic connection between blogging and growing a platform for a fiction book. So many bloggers write about the process of writing, which is interesting to me.. as a writer.

But as a reader, I just want to know more about the author’s world, their insight or occasionally their process. I am unsure how or if blogging will fit into my fiction writing.

What do you like to read in a blog written by a fiction writer?

Novel Synopsis

Owen MacIntyre’s daughter is missing but he can’t just file a missing person’s report—Eve is a first generation zone tripper. While her body is safe at home, host to a revolving door of other zone trippers; her soul skips into other infected trippers all over the world.

Or at least, her soul had been tripping. Now it’s complete radio silence. There has been no word from Eve since she tripped out of a dying woman who was only a train stop away from her waiting father. And the odds are falling fast. Suicide rates are sky high for zone trippers, a tasteless reality show debases victims on international television and a zone tripping serial killer calls himself the Infinity Killer.

Is a father’s love enough to achieve the impossible? Or is he too late?

I typically discover a new novel idea in August, which gives me three months of incubation before I write the first draft in November. In those few months, I become intimate with my characters, I plan a complete outline and I refine the story.

In 2010, I was in the middle of outlining the story I planned to write when I went to dinner with one of my NaNo friends. I shared an inkling of an idea I had with Amy, bemoaning the fact that it had an element of science fiction–which is not my style.

Amy, who does enjoy science fiction, encouraged me to ponder the idea a bit more. After our dinner, I did think about the plot–and overnight it all clicked into place. The whole world existed in my mind in an instant. With one domino tipped, I had to create all the benefits and consequences for my new disease.

It’s my favorite part of the writing process–the moment I discover the story I am telling myself.

The first draft was rougher than usual because I was still outlining as I was writing. But I also lost in the story.

This week I will complete a big revision round, moving the book one step closer to finished. I feel anxious to finish because 1.) I am pitching the novel in July at a conference and 2.) I expect my next novel idea to appear in August.

How do your novel ideas come to you?

Total Eclipse of the Heart -Literal Version

Click here to view the embedded video.

This song will always remind me of middle school slow dances and its accompanying drama. I do remember seeing the video back then but since videos were new to us, it just seemed odd–not particularly over the top. This play-by-play literal version always brings tears to my eyes from laughter.

Mullet with Headlights…

Common Craft’s Zombies In Plain English

Click here to view the embedded video.

Common Craft’s In Plain English series is brilliant. With a white board and paper cut outs, they can describe any technological term with humor and ease. Their Zombie instructional was off their usual topic but utterly brilliant. Since I don’t live near a Costco, I am doomed.

Buffy and Edward

Click here to view the embedded video.

I love Buffy. And I understand the appeal of Twilight, even if its is horribly written. But it was obvious that if Buffy and Edward met, Buffy would certainly have the upper hand. This mashup is brilliant in its juxtaposition of the two series. Buffy win!

Two Dick Pianists

Click here to view the embedded video.

I saw this joke performed at a talent show with one boy. The fact that two men play the piano with their…ummmm… maleness, makes it even funnier.

Equality Now

Click here to view the embedded video.

Joss is my favorite writer of all time and in this video, he accepted an award at Equality Now, his charity for equal rights. Once you get past Meryl, Joss gives a brilliant speech about why he writes strong women characters.

Bonus Video: Evoluti0n of Dance

Click here to view the embedded video.

An oldie but a goodie, this is what YouTube is meant for. I still smile every time I see this video.

What’s your favorite video?

Uxorious, adjective: excessively devoted to your wife

On February 19th, 1994, it turned out I had married a man who can only be described as uxorious.

As soon as I meet one of Mark’s co-workers or golfing buddies, I am always told, “Wow! Your husband really loves you. I have never heard him say a bad thing about you.”

His friends pick on him because he always answers the phone, “Hey gorgeous.” This has been embarrassing the handful of times that it wasn’t actually me on the phone, but instead one of his bosses, who has a similar phone number.

Saint Mark

In the 17 years we have been married,  he has been a wonderful provider, an amazing father, an avid supporter of my writing career and a source of security. He is ethical to a fault and over the top romantic, with a bone dry sense of humor. He is also the only person in the world who could STAY married to me.

Of course, he has his flaws. He is human after all, even though most of our family calls him “Saint Mark.” But just as he doesn’t catalog my faults and flaws to his associates, I don’t share his. Pointing out each others shortcomings in a public forum doesn’t inspire one to change…or to feel loved. But being bolstered by both public and private adoration has certainly inspired me to try to be a wife worth of his affections.

I wonder what the word is for “excessively devoted to one’s husband”?

What is amazing about your spouse or loved one? Have you told them today?

Going to a conference is like going back to school–but without the scheduling issues, roommate drama or meal plan. Plus I feel it is more educational.

Calvin’s Festival of Faith and Writing

The first conference I attended remains my favorite. Hosted by Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, they bring a diverse group of writers, authors and agents. This is not a Christian conference, per se. Everyone from Yann Martel, Joshilyn Jackson, Haven Kimmel, Mary Karr, Rob Bell, Donald Miller, Elizabeth Berg, Salman Rushdie and Lauren Winner have attended.

The keynote speakers are stunning, the community is engaged and the classes are top notch. Held every two years, the next conference is April 19-21, 2012. I’ll be there.

Erma Bombeck’s Writer’s Workshop

Also held every two years, this conference is in my back yard (Dayton, Ohio) and sadly, it frequently conflicts with the Calvin conference. In 2008, they were on back to back weekends and I was able to attend both.

Erma’s conference is aimed at humorists and human interest writers. As a non-funny person, I enjoyed the ribald conversations, the classes on humor formulas and laugh-until-you-hurt keynotes. The food and the community was absolutely amazing. But it looks like I have to wait another two years for the chance to attend this one.

Antioch Writer’s Workshop

I bet you didn’t know Dayton had so many stellar writer’s conferences. Antioch Writer’s Workshop is a week-long professional workshop in Yellow Springs, Ohio–north east of Dayton. They bring in some excellent writers such as Nancy Pickard and  Katrina Kittle.

I have only attended the Saturday session in the past but hope to attend the full conference someday. The 2011 conference is held July 9-15th.

Midwest Writer’s Workshop

I remember hearing about this workshop back in my college Creative Writing classes. But this is the first year I’ll attend, along with my outstanding critique partner, Jeanne Estridge. Held at Ball State in Muncie, Indiana, I am having a hard time choosing just one class for each session. Manuscript critiques and agent pitch sessions are both available. The dates are July 28-30th.

Robert McKee’s Story Seminar

This seminar is on my bucket list. My friend, Jeanne, attended and shared all the notes she took but nothing can compare to taking his class in person. Most writers in Hollywood have taken his Story Seminar and have benefited from it.

John Truby’s Anatomy of Story Class

This is another one on my wish list. Truby is another master of story with a prolific amount of study options–classes, audio files, books, downloads, etc. His site is worth several days worth of browsing.

What writing conferences and workshops do you recommend?

The Beach

A beach vacation is still on my list of things to do. Before children, we took beach vacations in Florida and Georgia. But other than Mexico, my kids have been sand free.

We have indulged in water park vacations, in the Wisconsin Dells and several hotel-based water parks. There is something about water that restores the soul.

The Family

Both of our families live in Michigan, only four hours away. For many holidays and summer vacations, we drive up to swim in Grandpa’s pool, visit Grandma’s campground and garden at my inlaw’s. The kids love to see their cousins and grandparents. I am even able to visit with my high school girlfriends.

Better yet, family will occasionally come down to visit. My cousins and their kids would often come down for a long weekend. The men would golf, the girls would read in the hammocks and the kids would entertain themselves. And then we would all go to King’s Island, about 20 minutes away.

The Tradition

For several years, we have rented a cabin in the Hocking Hills over Father’s Day weekend. We cook S’Mores, play board games, canoe and watch Muppet marathons. My daughter often makes my husband a model cabin out of popsicle sticks, toothpicks or paper as a memento.

I have started the tradition of going to Atlanta alone in November, to write with my Glitter Girls. We stay at my friend, Mary’s house and write our hearts out–participating in NaNoWriMo. We have agreed whoever gets published first buys the others dinner.

The Splurge

Last year, we splurging by taking a Carnival cruise out of Alabama down to Mexico. While we liked the food, the port visit to Cozumel, the snorkeling and the time to read; but we came to find out that we don’t like people that much. Over 2,000 people in one place is just too much. We like our solitude.

The Friends

The very best part of the cruise vacation was the drive to and from the port. On the way to Alabama, we stopped in Atlanta and stayed with our friends, the Knapps. We had such a great time–grilling out, fishing at the hatchery, playing card games and visiting.

On the way back through Atlanta, we stayed with my best friend, Laurel and her daughter, Lucie. We hung out at Stone Mountain–my favorite place, tubed down the Chattahoochee and talked books. We enjoyed the hospitality and friendship far more than the packaged deal.

The Cabin

For the near decade before we had children, we stayed at the Calico Inn in Sevierville, TN every year. We loved the hosts and beautiful log cabin inn. We have been back to the Gaitlinburg area several times with the kids. We love the mountains, the cabins, the pancake breakfasts and the hikes.

Cabin vacations mean quiet evenings, hammocks for reading, grilled food and stargazing. Camping often means the same things but with a bug-phobic daughter, I’m not sure when we will reintroduce camping.

On the Road Again

This year’s vacation is still in its planning stages. Of course, we will go to Michigan and visit the family. We are also planning a white water rafting trip in Missouri with my brother- and sister-in-law, niece and nephew. I am always ready for a trip to Atlanta. We’d like to take the kids to Washington D.C. and the Grand Canyon soon. And I have always wanted to rent a houseboat–nevermind that I haven’t a clue how to drive one.

What is your dream vacation?

As a parent, lack of consistency is an invitation to disaster. Toddlers excel at asking the same question repeatedly, until they get the answer they want. Backing down–even once–starts an avalanche of future nagging.

Once at our annual ice cream social, a little boy was misbehaving. His mother repeatedly threatened to take him home if he continued his behavior. After another episode of holy terror, my young daughter carried over the woman’s purse, beach towel and shoes.

“Here you go,” she said, plopping them in the woman’s lap. “You said you were going to leave if he did that again.”

I wish I had that same courage sometimes.

“Never make someone your priority, when they only make you an option.”

When a friend is consistently late, the message is clearly “you are unimportant and not worth my time.” The same people are capable of arriving to doctor appointments or work on time, so the issue is not disorganization. It is prioritization.

The same can be said for canceling for the weakest of reasons. There are always exceptions to the rule but when your word is broken, repeatedly, I will no longer trust it.

A friend mentioned this well known quote to me:

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I’d like to think I am a person who makes promises and then keeps them. I believe my public vow to complete projects like National Novel Writing Month and the A to Z Challenge are what drives me to complete the project. I would never make a public promise and then fail to follow through.

Which is why you haven’t seen a promise from me to lose 50 lbs. I promised to help my kids eat their Easter candy–and I never break a promise.

What are your pet peeves?